TGIF: Off Center

It has been a difficult week.  My sleep is fitful.  I wake up exhausted.  There is a root cause. I know this.

I am doing too much.

I am not doing enough.

I need a plan.

I consider myself fairly self-aware –  always with a pulse on my own mood and motivations but this is a new realm for me.  There was a lull in my life.  For the past five years or so, I waited for bad news.  After two cancer treatments, I resigned to a fairly short life and loosely defined plans.

Shortly after celebrating my 41st birthday this year, I realized that long-term plans are due now.  But with that realization also comes regret for the time passed and opportunities not taken.  It’s been a tough year but I’m looking forward to 2013.  There are opportunities galore on the horizon and I am ready to be fully awakened.

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Categories: Self-Awareness

Tags: , , , , ,

3 replies

  1. I sleep badly when I have had too many worries in the day or ate late.

    • I just discovered a multi-vitamin formulated to help the body deal with stress. It’s working wonderfull. It’s “Perfect Calm” by New Chapter. I noticed that my physical responses to stress are a lot less noticeable. Without the adrenaline and stress hormones releasing, I’m able to remain in a moment and focus. Plus, I know I don’t consume nearly enought B-Complex which is critical for the central nervous system.

  2. Ah yes. It is an awakening to realize that across the plans we craft for our own lives — the story we want to write — our lives are not authored by us, alone.

    I found it comforting that you see the need to return to developing a plan — plan the work, work the plan — as an aspect of the solution you seek; namely because it is similar to the path I have charted out of my own wilderness. Additionally, as my walk continues, I find new meaning in old phrases that I once felt I already understood; bromides like, “no plan survives contact with the enemy.”

    And I also learned that there is no such thing as an end to opportunity. That wheel just keeps spinning ’round…

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